A few years ago, my family went on a field trip to a restaurant for a delicious Sunday lunch. The waiter started delivering our meals and when he arrived mine was nothing like what he had ordered. As I started talking to the waiter my dad snapped, he told me to stop whining and eat it because he was perfectly fine with it!
Moans can come in all shapes and sizes, and often it’s someone’s interpretation of another’s behavior that makes all the difference. Certainly someone saying, ‘stop complaining’, can be a huge factor in shutting someone down. No one wants to be accused of complaining, even if it means eating the wrong food!
According to recent research, the average Briton moans for 10,000 minutes each year, with two-thirds of 20-30 year olds moaning at least once a day for 15 minutes. Moaning can become a habit, an automatic defect. And for some people it can be used as an attempt to appear superior. Always having an opinion and putting other people and things down can be seen as a way to elevate one’s position. Dispensing scathing comments and views from a lofty height can feel important and ‘better than’. But beware of the consequences of always complaining or complaining.
Getting used to seeing the bad and complaining about it can take the joy out of life. When you are tuned to always notice what is wrong and not how you would like, you leave no room for compassion, humor or to be tolerant and tolerant. And for others it can be exhausting to be with someone who never has a nice word to say, or who refuses to overlook even the slightest breach of their ‘acceptable’ code of conduct.
Whining can become a negative approach to life, such as bullying, bullying, manipulating, and attacking others who are rarely considered ‘good enough’. Then there are those who complain about the advantage. They want to avoid paying for their food by saying something was wrong or wrong. They seek compensation, redress, even damages, and they know that many companies and service providers are nervous to ignore the prospect of negative publicity, so they often relent and do what is asked of them.
Complainers may see their comments as constructive criticism, feedback, a desire for the other person to improve, and when handled well, constructive criticism is relevant to each of us to help our growth. As adults, we should be able to handle some feedback and teaching points, especially if we’re working in a team or to a specific spec, but the constant barrage and complaints can slowly erode confidence, self-confidence, or the desire to think for us
Trolling can be seen as a moan or a complaint. Often done under a cloak of anonymity, trolling is online abuse: teasing, highlighting something about another person’s appearance, behavior, or presence that has caused irritation and trouble with the troll. It is certainly a form of intimidation and can be insidious, often encouraging others to join in the trolling activity, leading to a cascade of disturbing criticism online. Many social media providers have become vigilant about trolling, removing comments and blocking posts from trolls, but it still happens and can have devastating consequences for the recipient.
But not all moans are bad. You can create a tribe mentality, where people with a common grievance feel empowered to stand up, complain, and campaign for change. It can create a collective energy, where individuals discover that by sticking together they can precipitate change by having a common goal in sight. A group of individuals can become a force to be reckoned with when they come together and complain or ‘moan’ together.
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