I am still in shock at the death of my daughter, the 45-year-old mother of twins. The impact of his death in a car accident will be with me forever. Fortunately, I am lucky to have twin grandchildren and my new mission in life is to take care of them. My husband and I share this mission.
I know my grandchildren and they know me. They know that I love them, take care of them, and keep my promises. Although they live with their father, my mind is full of fatherly thoughts about them. Do you have enough money for lunch? Have they paid their bus fares? What clothes do you need?
Somehow, as I deal with questions, legal and financial procedures, I must find hope. Is not easy. Every day I look for hope, because as a health writer, I know that your spark can keep me going. Where is my hope?
MY DAUGHTER WAS AN ORGAN DONOR. After consulting with our grandchildren, my husband and I signed an agreement with Life Source to donate our daughter’s organs. The Life Source representative called the next day. “His daughter saved three lives,” he said, “and thanks to her another will see.”
Knowing that my daughter helped others gives me hope.
FRIENDS HAVE SHOWERED US KINDLY. Because my husband and I are active in the community, we have received cards from friends, people we hardly know, and strangers. Some of the comments on the cards make us cry, but still comfort us. The kindness of others gives me hope.
MEMORIES ON BEHALF OF MY DAUGHTER GIVE ME HOPE. At the end of our daughter’s obituary, we suggest tributes to Mayo Clinic. The memorials we received were in addition to a substantial donation to Mayo Clinic. Helping Mayo Clinic carry out its mission of medical practice, education, and research gives me hope.
MY DAUGHTER PRINTED HER VALUES ON HER CHILDREN. The twins began to think about their mother’s values at the time of her death. “Even when Mom disciplined us, she never got mad,” my grandson said. “Mommy always tried to make people smile,” my granddaughter said. The twins know that their mother wanted them to go to college and we will make this dream come true, a mission that gives us hope.
THE SIGNS OF SPRING RAISE MY SPIRIT. The snow drifts around our house are melting and I start to see green grass. Next to the house, the birch trees show signs of budding. I saw my first robin yesterday. She (or he) sat in a tree near the house and sang for several minutes. Spring gives me hope and I am looking forward to it.
These hopeful signs are helping my pain heal. I’m also trying to make something good out of pain and writing articles is one way to do it. Pain is a common bond that unites people and makes us human.
Copyright 2007 by Harriet Hodgson