There’s a joke going around that scientists are starting to use lawyers instead of lab rats for their experiments. Apparently scientists were getting too attached to rats and there are some things even rats wouldn’t do.
Is this cynical? Maybe. But there is also an element of truth when it comes to lawyers and divorce. During a divorce, your emotions are on high alert and you may not be thinking clearly. This lack of focus for the lawyer’s clients is like blood in the water for sharks.
If you can put your emotions aside for a moment, you and your spouse will realize that mediation is a much better option than going to lawyers and court.
IMPORTANT POINT – It is not necessary for the courts to decide on the division of marital property, child support, and spousal support during a divorce. You just need the courts to make the whole process official and final. If both parties to the marriage can file a self-negotiated agreement with the courts, the courts are perfectly fine with this option. That is why it is so important to do most of the legwork before you appear in court.
If you try to negotiate a settlement through their respective attorneys, you will end up spending a lot more money than you really need to.
Imagine this scenario: Attorney A sends Attorney B a letter outlining his clients’ position on any particular issue. Attorney B receives the documents from Attorney A and then issues his own document to Attorney A acknowledging receipt of Attorney A’s documents. Attorney A then sends a quick note to Attorney B acknowledging receipt of the documents. If you listen closely, you can hear the lawyers chuckling quietly as they calculate exactly how many payments they can make on your high-end luxury car on your back.
As ridiculous as it sounds, I’m embarrassed to admit that this actually happened to me. It’s maddening to learn that thousands of dollars were spent unnecessarily because two parties couldn’t come up with their own solution. If you let your emotions run wild, the attorneys will take advantage of this weakness and start charging you hundreds of dollars for an administrative tug-of-war.
I realize it’s not fair to stereotype an entire profession or a group of people, but if attorneys really had their clients’ best interests in mind, they would send them a letter that says: negotiate a settlement yourself or we’ll charge you a Big amount of money. for your stupidity
There are other options available if you and your partner cannot negotiate a settlement on your own. Mediation is a viable option that can get the job done and save both parties a great deal of money. In the end, long after the divorce is finalized and emotions have subsided, both parties will be grateful they used mediation.
Like all things in life, choose a mediator wisely. Not all mediators are competent and effective. If you can find a mediator that both parties agree with, you are well on your way to dissolving your marriage.