Your husband left you for another woman. You didn’t see it coming at all. You knew that the two of you were struggling with some problems, but you never imagined that one of those problems was her. Now you are left alone with a bruised ego and a confused heart. You still love the man despite his infidelity. You struggle when you think of the two of you together because all you want is for your family to get back together. You can have that. Many women in your situation do not realize a very important fact. Her husband loved you enough to marry you once. That can happen again.
Hostility is the emotion of the day your husband has left you for someone else. You feel hostility towards him and obviously towards her as well. That is very difficult to hide and it will be reflected in his behavior. Many women who are abandoned by their spouse are determined to get revenge. They believe that if they can tarnish the new wife’s image in the eyes of her estranged husband, they will win him back. Degrading her will only make you appear less in control. Talk about your jealousy and lack of self-esteem. Don’t lower yourself to the level of trying to undermine her relationship by making her look bad. You’re going to keep your head up and get him back in a much more effective way.
She needs to reconnect with her husband if she hopes to steal him away from her new lover. Obviously, you can’t just tell him that you want him back. He is with her right now, so professing your undying love will only make him very uncomfortable and will probably ensure that he cuts off most contact with you. You’re actually going to do something you thought you’d never do. You’re going to become her friend.
All relationships have their weak moments. Your relationship with your husband did it and his new relationship will too. That’s why it’s so crucial that you position yourself as his friend and confidant. Although you may feel like you’re making yourself look weak or used by doing this, it’s actually not. Your husband will see your desire to be friends as a sign of maturity and acceptance. He will come to respect you for it.
Your history with your husband and all those wonderful moments you shared before he left you are what you will draw strength from now on. Reach out to him by establishing a friendship. Over time, he will open up to you and trust you. He will begin to see you as the source of strength in his life. That will ensure that when the cracks start to show in her rebound relationship with her, you’ll be there waiting to help him heal again.