Estranged wives who are still involved in their marriages will often watch their husband’s behavior in hopes of seeing clues of continued emotional attachment. After all, they may have issues, but they’ve known each other (and been married) for quite some time. Presumably, you can’t turn off your emotions just because you’re separate. And yet that seems to be exactly what some husbands can do.
Many wives describe their estranged husbands as “detached” from the marriage and the family. These wives understandably wonder what this will mean in the future. A wife might say, “Honestly, for most of our married life, my husband was really sensitive and loving. If something happened to me or our children, he would always be there, trying to help and showing concern. past two years, our marriage changed. I would have stayed that way, but my husband wanted a separation. The idea was that hopefully this hiatus would allow us to eventually regroup and get back together. I just assumed my husband would continue to care about (and emotionally involved in) me and my children. I guess I was wrong because the only way I can describe his behavior is to say that he is emotionally detached. When you talk to him, his voice is monotonous and his face shows no emotion. Yes I get angry, he doesn’t even try to comfort me or make any gestures towards me. Recently, my children and I were in a minor crash. We were not injured, although our car was. My Husband p he asked if we were okay, but he seemed unaffected on the ground. st and he seemed more concerned about the damage to the car than us. Why would a man who is normally sensitive and emotional be so detached? He just doesn’t get it and he’s scaring me.”
Any guess as to why your husband is acting this way would be just speculation, but sometimes estranged men try to push their emotions away because they don’t want to feel homesick, guilty, or remorseful as they try to decide what they want. want. Below I will list some of the reasons I have seen when separated men act this way. Again, I’m just speculating. Your husband would be the best judge of his own behavior (assuming he is going to share his feelings with you).
He is trying to numb his feelings for what he has become numb: People often assume that the person who initiated the separation ends up blissfully happy and living it up while living apart, when in fact, this is not the case. Anytime she changes her life and is no longer with her loved ones, it can be painful and feel very strange. To tone that down, people may try to suppress their feelings, giving off this cold and indifferent personality. Ironically, they act this way because they care too much or are afraid of their own feelings, but their spouse often thinks they don’t feel anything at all.
He doesn’t want you to know how he feels: Another reason estranged spouses may seem distant is that he doesn’t want to let you know how he feels. Many times, understandably, the wife regularly asks the husband how he feels and what he wants. The truth is that most of the time, she just doesn’t know the answers to these questions. So he is trying to be as serious as possible to discourage further questions. Men often just want to give themselves time to figure this all out and don’t want to be rushed. They know that you are observing their behaviors and conduct to try to figure out what is going on. And they are trying to stop you from doing it (because they are very aware that their feelings fluctuate and are confused at the moment). They don’t necessarily want to share feelings that could change. The detached person is just a defense mechanism.
Legitimately still having a hard time: Sometimes the cold and indifferent person you see is a continuation of the man who was struggling emotionally or who was so dissatisfied that he wanted to break up. Unfortunately, his unhappiness is not always immediately resolved once they part. Sometimes it just takes some time. So the behavior they see now could simply be a continuation of the behavior they saw before the split.
This does not necessarily mean that things will never get better. Things change. Feelings change. Perceptions change and situations change. My husband was indifferent and cold for quite some time. I think I actually made things worse by always demanding answers that my husband wasn’t ready to give. Because of this, he felt that he had to be reserved and cold.