An empath tends to be something of a caretaker. We have such a desire to please and help others that we often do so at the expense of our own health. When an empath feels overwhelmed, chances are he or she isn’t taking care of her own needs.
A person can get so used to caring that they feel like they are supposed to. I think it’s a violation of someone else’s rights to even try to gather information or feel things about them unless you first ask their permission. It’s like reading your mail or rummaging through your closet! If you’re an empath with the typical pattern of codependency, your idea of where the line is between you and someone else can be a bit blurry. Once you know where the line is, it will make all of your relationships clearer and cleaner. It is important to learn to feel your own energy and listen to your inner guidance.
Empaths are kind and loving. Sometimes we are almost saintly because we tend to care about others more than ourselves. However, you are not doing yourself or anyone else a favor by being a martyr. Codependency is common in our relationships because we want to please others. Doing or saying something that will make another person angry or sad is uncomfortable for us, so we often avoid confrontation. After all, if we make someone angry or upset, we’ll probably pick up on that feeling and become even more uncomfortable. This is not personal care; This is self sabotage!
Caring does not serve or protect another person; it prevents them from growing up and accepting responsibility for their own actions and feelings. You have to be the bad guy from time to time just to maintain your own health and sanity. People may get mad at you if you don’t do what they want you to do, but their feelings are not your feelings, and your well-being is not dependent on theirs. Part of maturing as an empath is letting go of taking on responsibilities that aren’t yours. There are times when we must have the courage to say “no” when asked to give of our precious time or emotional resources. It’s okay to let others take care of themselves as much as possible. It’s okay to ask others to help you! A healthy relationship is a two way affair where receiving equals giving. Let your friends pamper you from time to time.
Pay patient, loving attention to yourself by setting aside time for spiritual renewal, reading, or doing a craft or project you enjoy. Find a place where you can be alone in nature to refresh your own batteries. Do some kind of physical exercise to keep the energy flowing in your body. Take care of yourself as you take care of others.
When you treat yourself with compassion, you offer yourself a supportive emotional environment that allows you to overcome past patterns and challenges to step into the positive change you seek and deserve. My book can help you learn how to do this.