Isn’t it irritating when your boyfriend doesn’t tell you where he’s going and what he’s doing? You might think that out of respect, shouldn’t two people in a committed relationship at least inform each other of their location, activities, and who they are with?
Does he drive you crazy when he acts mysterious and you don’t know what’s really going on? Is he seeing another girl behind your back or are you just being overly sensitive?
The fact is, whether we are male or female, we all have different upbringings and different expectations regarding social courtesies and the like. So at the beginning of a relationship, it makes sense to communicate with your boyfriend, which you would prefer. Because if you’ve never told him you’d rather have him text or call you to stay up-to-date, don’t automatically assume that he’ll pick up on your leads. Think of it like playing a game without setting the rules … it will eventually lead to nasty misunderstandings.
Men tend to value their freedom more than the average woman, but this does not mean that they should not or do not want to give in to your request if you present your case nicely. The key word here is “kindly.”
Have you ever met someone who rudely asked you for a favor? It probably didn’t make you want to agree to his request, did it? In fact, it probably made you angry, resentful, and even rebellious. So if you want your guy to make some changes in your relationship, the first thing you should do is ask him nicely.
The next thing you should do is tell him how his actions make you feel by saying “When you do this, I feel …”. This allows you to take responsibility for your feelings, rather than attacking their character.
And lastly, it should help you see the benefits of telling you where you are going, so that you can figure out the pros and cons for yourself and have some incentive to change. For example, you can say “If you let me know where you are going, I will not interrupt your appointment.” Or “When you call me to tell me where you are, I feel loved and respected by you.”
If he still doesn’t understand your point of view after letting him know how well you feel, it tells you something about how he will react to other similar situations in the future, and also how much he cares about your feelings. So now you must decide if this is something you can learn to live with or if this is a deal breaker for you.