It’s more common than you think: Your boyfriend or girlfriend breaks up with you, stays in touch, and tells you that they still love you. However, no matter what you do or say, they won’t even consider getting back together.
So what exactly is going on? Why does your ex say that he still loves you, but he doesn’t want a relationship anymore?
The answer to that question is pretty simple: your ex wants to have his cake and eat it too. No matter what stage of the breakup you’re in right now, your ex boyfriend or girlfriend is looking to keep you “close” while they figure out their next move.
Why does your ex keep telling you that he loves you?
During your relationship, you and your partner developed deep feelings for each other. The emotional bonds that were formed are stronger than you think, and they still bind your ex to you…even after the relationship has ended.
Right now, your ex is basically not sure. There is a part of them that wants to go out and hang out with other people, try new things and see what else is out there. This is the part that doesn’t want to get back together… at least, not right now.
Yet at the same time, there is a part of them that I can’t let you go completely. This is the part of your ex’s psyche that makes them say they still love you. They tell you this to keep hope alive, on your part, and to keep you from going anywhere while they decide what to do.
How to get your ex to recommit to a relationship
If you do nothing right now, you are sunk. Your ex will continue to play the field while he keeps you within arm’s reach. Every time they feel you’re losing interest, the phone will ring. They will snuggle with you and tell you that they still have feelings. However, every time you call them trying to get back together, your ex will drift away again.
To break this endless cycle, you can’t participate in your ex’s little game. He or she is being selfish right now by trying to form new relationships while keeping your own on life support. The romance you had together is barely alive, but if you stick around (and listen to your ex say that he loves you all the time) you make sure he doesn’t die. To get your ex back, you finally have to go offline.
Now is the time to break contact with your ex boyfriend or girlfriend. Face them. Tell them that you’re not staying anymore and that you can’t be friends with someone you still have feelings for. They either want to be with you (and get back together) or they DON’T want to be with you…at which point you’ll walk in a different direction and do your thing.
This kind of approach will take your ex out of his comfortable little world. For the first time, they will have to face losing you forever. This will force your boyfriend or girlfriend to make a tough decision, and that’s a great thing. If he has any residual feelings for you, he will seriously consider giving your relationship a second chance.