I guess it all started well, they dated, talked until the wee hours of the morning, and little by little they became a couple. You have noticed that the relationship is becoming a bit stagnant and not moving forward. You may have your own ideas about where you would like the relationship to go, such as marriage, but your partner is resisting. It’s hard to know when to walk away from a relationship that’s going nowhere, it’s also very hard to break up both physically and mentally.
There are two situations in which you must leave and that is where you are suffering physical or psychological abuse. You have to take care of your own safety, this is even more important if you have children. If you are experiencing mental abuse, then for the sake of your sanity, walk away. In both cases, if your partners loved you, they wouldn’t do this to you. In a healthy relationship, both are equal partners, one not subservient to the other.
Have you noticed that you don’t have much to talk about anymore? Have you noticed that you are not spending as much time with your partner? Are you unable to do anything right? Has your partner started to remember previous relationships? Has your partner told you they don’t think it’s you? Are you ignored in public and have problems you can’t solve? All of this suggests that their relationship is, at the very least, struggling. Many of your relationship problems could be due to a lack of communication and quality time together. Obviously there was something that drew them both and that spark is still flickering, it might be worth trying to fix things.
If you’ve been trying to fix things, but the problems keep creeping in month after month, then you need to face reality and call it a day. Everyone knows that you have to invest time and energy in a relationship to make it work, but it should never be an endless struggle. There are two of you in the relationship and you both have an equal responsibility to make it work, you can’t do it all alone. You should sit down with your partner and talk calmly and rationally about things. You may be able to start working on your issues, but if your partner doesn’t want to talk, then they really care.
Knowing it’s time to go and making the physical decision are worlds apart. There are many people in relationships who are going nowhere and who stay because they are afraid of the unknown. Even a relationship where the two of you are clearly incompatible has more of a sense of stability and security than being alone in the big world. Up to this point you will have invested a lot of time, energy and emotion in the relationship, how do you convince yourself that all those months or maybe years have come to nothing and have to end? The problem is, if it’s time to end it, the more time you spend trying to get it to work, the harder it is to walk away.
Have you considered whether or not you are really compatible with each other? Do you share interests, ideas, hobbies? Do you do things together or is it the case that you both live in the same address. I don’t know how developed their issues are, but if they can still do things together, then they might reconnect. If it’s reached the stage where you can’t spend quality time together, then your relationship is unhealthy at best.
There is no shame in saying that your relationship has come to an end. That’s life, not everyone is compatible. If her partner has made it clear to her that she has no interest in her wants and needs, if she’s done everything she can to make their relationship work and it’s still not happening, then I strongly suggest you call it quits for a day. In my opinion, the real shame is not ending the relationship, but continuing to waste your life in an endless cycle of conflict, misery, and depression. A healthy relationship is built on friendship, on happiness and always focusing on the positive. I really hope that if you can’t change your current relationship, you can find someone with whom you can build a healthy, happy, long-term future.