“I’m confused. If I really am as smart, attractive, charming, and successful as people say I am, why the hell am I still single? Why can’t I find someone?”
Be honest now, how many times have you cried yourself to sleep asking this very question?
You read this article skeptically, but in the back of your mind; You secretly hope that it contains some kind of magic solution or proven set of simple guidelines that can finally help you find that elusive “right”. You quickly look at the title of this article again and the words “Golden Rules of Dating” catch your eye without knowing it this time.
“Golden rules of dating? There are too many of them now,” you complain. Very true indeed. And you’ll also notice that most of them actually promise to bring you one step closer to capturing the heart of that “special” someone you’ve been eyeing.
To be honest, I didn’t even know there were actually any dating rules to abide by until I was twenty-one and I’ve had quite a few affairs and relationships already. Prior to this, I had always stuck to the 21st century way of doing things, which is to say, go to a pub, make eye contact with a girl you think is hot, proceed to kiss you, and if you’re lucky, lots of it. plus.
Sounds pretty simple and effortless, huh?
Well, this spur-of-the-moment approach to dating has actually led to me having several random hookups with a variety of women, from the petite model who had this creepy lazy eye and sinister-looking crooked smile, to the cute waitress who looked absolutely beautiful in the dark but then she looked totally different in the light, to the hot and sexy podium dancer who had this strange ability to be next door and roar like a noble steed, she also had this strange foot fetish that I don’t even want to be in GET IN. Bottom line? It’s been a roller coaster, that’s for sure.
When I finally reached twenty-one, that’s when I discovered that there were actually several rules that I didn’t even know existed. I only found out about them after reading various books and browsing various websites.
And you know what else I discovered? I found out it’s actually a JUNGLE out there. A jungle consisting of men who speak simple black and white language, and women who are programmed to decipher every little aspect of male behavior.
I just watched the movie “He’s Just Not That Into You” the other day, and as embarrassing as that sounds, I think I’m in love with the movie (oh my gosh). The movie was realistic, the script was perfect, the characters were smart and witty, and most importantly, the movie tackled a subject close to our hearts: dating in the 21st century.
“People don’t meet organically anymore. If I want to make myself more attractive to the opposite sex, I’m not going to get a new haircut, I’m going to update my profile,” Drew Barrymore rants miserably in the film. frustration.
Now, didn’t those words just hit the mark?
Here’s an interesting thing I’ve noticed in the last five years: I’ve noticed a host of dating gurus, date doctors, pick-up artists, and self-help authors have come out of nowhere in large numbers armed with their own unique set of dating rules Each of them also claims that their own distinctive set of rules is the ultimate magic formula that will allow you to succeed in the dating game.
Really very interesting.
The funny thing is that many people just decided to blindly follow these rules without really researching and delving into the details.
The result?
In the end, most people just ended up baffled, bewildered, perplexed, and *gasp* dare I say it? Still alone.
You know why?
Because most of these dating rules were just too baffling and downright absurd. In the end, it finally led to hundreds of single people tearing their hair out one by one in frustration and giving up on the dating scene altogether. Most of them have now opted to stay home and watch reruns of Sex and City all the while shaking their heads at the show and repeatedly telling themselves “Carrie Bradshaw is so right…so so right” over and over. again. .
Well that actually applies more to single women, most single men on the other hand are probably just surfing the net looking for porn.
Am I right, or am I right?
Now there are hundreds of literary dating rules out there, it’s crazy. If you surf the net or go to the nearest bookstore, I bet you will be bombarded with hundreds of dating rules, from seduction rules to love rules, online dating rules and so on.
Since when did the dating scene get so complicated? What happened to the old saying that “if it’s meant to be, it’s meant to be?”
oops . . . I think I just unleashed my inner child in there for a second. Sorry I’m wrong.
Going through all the rules and exceptions to the rules that we are constantly bombarded with, I have come to the conclusion that there is an outstanding truth in all of this: it is that the dating scene is not what it used to be. to be. Never in my wildest dreams could I have foreseen that 21st century dating will be an era of online chat, texting, email, facebook, myspacing, and google.
Welcome to the digital age my friend.
The sad thing is that the digital age seems to have erased any thought of spontaneously finding the “right” one.
To be honest, I’m still a hopeless romantic at heart. You can call me soft, you can call me a romantic dummy or you can even call me a little girl waiting for her big fat guy to finally arrive- Awww. . .
Bottom line? I don’t think I’m alone either. I think most of us still have this secret hope of finding the “right” one, even though no one would openly admit it.
Ironically, while I know dating rules play a big part in the dating jungle, well, initially at least, I think, at some point, they’re actually meant to be broken. Here’s the problem with most dating rules: They are based too much on the old philosophies of femininity and masculinity. They also retain the most important ingredient to fall in love with: our INTENSIVE FEELING. Instead of something that should be nice and freeing between two people, these rules actually make the entire dating experience such a difficult task to understand.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned from all my experiences, it’s that sometimes you just have to break the rules if you want to be happy. Because the fact is, even if you follow the rules religiously, there are still no guarantees that you will live happily ever after. Let’s face it, in the dating field, situations arise and change all the time, therefore there could be no “perfect” formula or set of rules because the only thing that is truly constant is CHANGE.
However, sometimes, it’s not even about following or breaking the rules. Sometimes it’s just luck or maybe even divine intervention to help you find the man or woman of your dreams. Like it or not, in the end it all comes down to one solid fact:
If you want to WIN the dating game, you have to PLAY.
If you don’t like the game, you are more than welcome to sit on the sidelines, as there are many other players suffering for a short period of time. It can take months or even years to find the “right” elusive, you may not even find him in the end. But at least your odds are increased when you submit an application form.