“Where there are many words, sin is not absent.”
Proverbs 10:19
CAN IT BE RELATED TO frustration in the reflection of having heard something exaggerated to make it sound more attractive or sensational? Why are we doing this? Children do it all the time. Adults do it. Is it because we are trying to gain more acceptance? Is it because we need the attention? Is it because we have unmet needs within us? However, the reality is that our credibility (and the truth) suffers when we fall into the trap of telling a half-truth.
The quoted proverb points directly to the effects of talking too much: if we talk too much, we are more like to lie. We need to understand that although lies hurt others, they also hurt ourselves. We suffer the inevitable loss of credibility, if it really counts among your peer group. The truth is that sometimes some groups appreciate falsehood; although they are not the objective of this discussion. This advice is aimed at those who want, and see the need, to speak more truth.
Anyone serious about getting wise must argue that talking too much is a trap, and that building and maintaining credibility is paramount. I once read that for every sixty things we say, one is a lie, a lie, an omission, or an exaggeration, which means that we inevitably lie at some point or another. The same writer (Bill Hybels) suggested that it was a good idea to limit conversations to fifty-nine or less.
The idea is that if you want to be more honest and, as a result, have more integrity and better credibility, you simply have to say less. We need to be more cautious in what we say; more self-controlled; more discreet. I don’t know about you, but listening to an indiscreet and careless speech makes me angry from the inside, because I see a lack of care in the speaker, the lack of care is a lack of love.
Anyone who considers himself a spiritual being must not act carelessly; it goes against spirituality. If you want to be more spiritual and find it difficult to limit or control your speech, what should you do?
If you feel susceptible to this type of weakness, talking too much, and lacking the self-control to limit your speech, perhaps you need to study the principles of prudence and discretion? I have defined precaution simply as “Control of what goes in or out of the mouth.” (While this might be an overly simplistic definition, it works for me.) Would it be true that for the many who lack control over their words, there are the same people who lack control over their words? what Y how much they eat? I wonder if there would be any correlation. Caution is self-control; is to live wise.
Proverbs also tell us other effects of wise behavior. The prudent person ignores an insult, keeps his knowledge to himself, acts outside of knowledge (which are established facts), reflects on his ways (and steps), crowns himself with knowledge, takes refuge in the sight of danger, be silent in times of trouble, and listen to correction.
The final part of the proverb quoted above reads, “… but he [or she] who bites his tongue is wise. “There are many positive effects of speaking less and telling only the truth. The biggest and most positive effect is that you will become wiser and more demanding. People will trust you more and earn more honor without even thinking about it, which is like must be.
And when you think about it, talking less brings more peace and tranquility to your soul, as there is less pressure on you to please others. We don’t need to please others in order to feel better inside; they just like loving them.
Reference: Hybels, B., Making life work: putting God’s wisdom into practice (InterVarsity Press, Downers Grove, Illinois, 1998), p. 88f.
© Steve J. Wickham, 2007.