I recently finished teaching an organizational development course in which I was given free rein to come up with something cool. I was thankful that no matter how much you’re taught about leadership challenges, until you experience one, you’re just reading the menu. Better eat the food, and eat we did!
In one session we had a particularly instructive role-play. One of my brave students came to the front of the class to play the role of a newly hired consultant for the CEO, me. I decided to be harsh, rushed, impatient and looking to blame my employees as the source of my problems. My student quickly recognized my attitude as a likely problem and boldly challenged me. But the way he did it struck me as condescending, and I didn’t like it. So going into the role, I noticed that I felt hurt, angry, and resistant. And, in character, I made it exceptionally clear to my student-consultant that I didn’t want to be patronized, etc. My heart was racing!
My student had to publicly react to real feelings coming from an authority figure (the CEO or their instructor, take your pick). Not exactly the hand he feeds you, but pretty close. A key learning moment then occurred, as she acknowledged my defensive feelings about her approach. She did it by being empathetic and clear, and she didn’t provoke me anymore. As CEO, I found it more personable, and the passion at the meeting seemed to subsidize. If you’ve ever been a consultant, you know that sticky situations of this nature are quite common in first meetings with difficult clients.
When the role-play was over, I began the class report by explaining that being “right” gets you nowhere as a consultant if you can’t make an emotional connection with the client. To my surprise, the class completely disagreed with me! They applauded the student (literally) for standing up to me and dismissed the risks of my losing my confidence. They thought that, like the headstrong CEO, he needed to be challenged.
I could see that one of those perfect teachable moments had arrived: they were consumed with their attention, they disagreed with me, and their standard bearer had beaten me at my own game. So I congratulated my consultant for a hard job well done. And I encouraged my students to continue to disagree with authority as they saw fit. I’m sure they heard it!
I then explained my personal experience that, in character, my responsiveness to the consultant had decreased substantially as a result of the provocation. I suggested that perhaps the element of pride (on both sides) could deserve a little more attention. They weren’t ready to go there with me at the time, but I could see that my first-hand report had given them something to think about.
Now, I could have just lectured my students on this topic, and they would have learned the concepts involved. But that is not my goal in teaching. In the social disciplines, what students need most (and what I try to give them) is an emotional experience that provides context for the new concepts they are learning. They need to have the feeling being there.
I received very positive feedback about this class, and one student felt it led to great success on the job. while class was still in session. So obviously I was successful this time with these students. I am very pleased to know that one of them can boldly engage a CEO one day. If they survived the encounter, that would please me even more.