After my 6 years of Ph.D. classes and research in Communication Studies and 13 years teaching communication, I’ve boiled it down to these 101 essentials. So you can get it, without the Ph.D.!
1.Communication is the key to success.
2. Everything about you communicates… something.
3. You can’t communicate.
4. The medium is the message. (Marshal McLuhan)
5. Words are only 7% of the message.
6. Your communication co-creates your reality.
7. Communication is the transfer of emotions. (Seth Godin)
8. People appreciate that you are clear.
9. What you really gain from good communication is an authentic connection with people.
10. You impact the energy of a room simply by walking into it.
11. You have much more influence than you think.
12. Communication is irreversible.
13. Misinterpretation of email can end your marriage. (That’s because people get upset because they see something that isn’t really there.)
14. It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it.
15. What you are feeling is your invisible message.
16. Listening to yourself is essential to being authentic.
17. To connect with others, you must establish trust.
18. You establish trust by being authentic and open. Know your preferences.
19. There are two levels in every message: content and relationship.
20. Everything you communicate is building personal relationships or doing the opposite.
21. Human motives are complex.
22. Male communication focuses on results.
23. Feminine communication focuses on relationships.
24. You have the option to interpret the messages of others.
25. You can always choose the interpretation that suits you best.
26. Being authentic is not being selfish.
27. The optimal size for a work team to enjoy good communication is 5 to 7 people.
28. Always start an email with a greeting.
29. Please note that employers and clients can check your FB profile.
30. Whenever possible, talk to people instead of emailing them.
31. Forgiving others frees you. That affects the energy you communicate.
32. Respond, don’t react to situations. This is how you create results.
33. If you react by accident, go to the bathroom and recover.
34. Active listening brings you to the present moment.
35. The first step in preparing a presentation is to decide on its purpose.
36. Persuasion only takes place in a context of trust.
37. Writing things in a journal frees your mind to think of new thoughts.
38. If a speaker refers to a famous person, the speaker is (probably) trying to borrow that person’s credibility.
39. Executives spend more time talking than listening…according to research.
40. Executives say they spend more time listening than talking.
41. The average American worker receives 200 emails a day.
42. The best day to break bad news to the press is Saturday.
43. The best day to give good news to the press is Monday.
44. A sound fragment lasts from 9 to 14 seconds.
45. People make lasting judgments about you within 30 seconds of meeting you.
46. Send handwritten thank you notes, not emails.
47. Avoid bullet points in your PowerPoint presentations.
48. Use photos instead of so much text in your PowerPoint presentations.
49. The first means of electronic communication was the telegraph.
50. Make sure your handshake is firm, not too weak and not too strong.
51. Without perfume in a job interview.
52. Learn to disagree without being unpleasant.
53. Saying affirmations (the truth up front) can shorten the time you spend feeling down.
54. When you have a free minute, work on and practice your 30-second elevator pitch.
55. News programming is a form of entertainment.
56. News programming is bad for your health.
57. The bad thing about the news isn’t the news, it’s what you tell yourself about the news.
58. Complaining brings you more things to complain about.
59. Expressing gratitude brings you more things to be thankful for.
60. A grateful heart is a happy heart. (Vegetable Tales)
61. There is no such thing as a neutral message.
62. Your point of view shapes your point of view.
63. To reach your goals, you just have to know the first step to take right now.
64. Use the spell checker.
65. More vocabulary is more power, so use a thesaurus too.
66. You can never please everyone.
67. Groups that identify themselves as against something, instead of for something, do not have a bright future.
68. Creativity is really the only non-renewable economic resource we have. (Ricardo Florida)
69. For your message to be persuasive, you must appeal to rationality and human emotions.
70. The strongest human motivator is the fear of loss.
71. You can get all kinds of benefits by listening, really listening to people.
72. If you think you can, you can, if you think you can’t, you’re right about that too. (That was Henry Ford’s expression.)
73. A good meeting is always preceded by the distribution of a clear agenda.
74. Stress only exists in your mind.
75. There are no justified resentments. (Wayne Dyer, PhD)
76. People have the attention span of goldfish.
77. Creative people should always try to do things they can’t do. That’s when creativity is needed. (Marcel walks)
78. Fear blocks good communication.
79. Fear is created by fantasizing about future experiences. (Jack Canfield)
80. People can hear faster than you can talk.
81. You can’t listen to a person and a text message at the same time.
82. The truth is good for you. (ODE Magazine)
83. Use a lot of white space in your emails.
84. Make sure you have complete and correct contact information in your email signature.
85. Don’t put your hands in your pockets when giving a presentation. Especially if you have keys in your pocket!
86. Leaders who lead by blaming do their followers a huge disservice.
87. Sometimes people ask questions that have hidden agendas embedded in them.
88. That someone says there is a problem does not make it true.
89. What you believe about yourself defines who you are; that is what you communicate.
90. What you confidently expect to happen (good or bad) usually becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
91. Refusing to discuss a problem is the most destructive communication block.
92. Blame and criticism also block communication.
93. Remembering a person’s name immediately establishes you as someone who listens, that is, someone who cares.
94. Learning names takes practice, like everything else.
95. You teach people how to treat you.
96. What we know about really effective people is that they think. (JimCollins)
97. Human beings love symbols.
98. Touch is the blow of making a point without making an enemy. (Isaac Newton)
99. Ultimately, people seek communion in their communication.
100. In general, there is some truth in all criticism.
101. Complaining, criticizing, gossiping, and whining dampen your communication skills. Refuse to participate in these activities!