I used these emotional recovery steps and tools to treat the most chronic, psychologically challenged, and homeless veterans, and miracles happened. These veterans learned to say the Five Steps repeatedly until they gained the confidence to get through any unforeseen problem or stressful event.
Caring deeply for ourselves (self-esteem) despite having a negative side, is the first piece of the three types of mental equipment needed to bring about any form of inner change or healing: the armor, the shield, and the sword.
Metaphorically speaking, armor is a pervasive, positive attitude of caring so much about ourselves that we refuse to hurt ourselves or others, even when tempted by the urges of old ways, negative habits, or the influence of outsiders. negative.
The shield (known as the Emotional Recovery Card) is used to stop and think of alternative ways to deal with pain, pleasure, and conflict. The sword, (known as Love-Light) refers to our spiritual connection, which we can use to kill any internal or external dragons or monsters that so often come back to us as a negative lifestyle.
Many years ago, I realized that the same Five Steps used to help homeless veterans at the Transitional Living Program in Battle Creek, Michigan, can also serve as a framework to help anyone solve personal problems, or even shape our “armor” to focus on broader issues of social reform.
For example, I can see applications of Five Step reform to school problems, prisons, reduction in welfare roles, relief for stepfamilies and dysfunctional relationships, treatment for all addictive behaviors (including weight loss), hope for recovery for emotional illnesses. , and even relief from illness or serious physical injury.
For now, let’s apply The Five Steps to creating and improving our own self-esteem and self-care attitudes. Once we learn to use our protective mental gear, dark secrets cannot touch us and our healing and personal freedom begins.
The five steps in action
STEP 1: ADMIT THE PROBLEM.
Honestly facing a problem or admitting a weakness is something that we all find very difficult. If we work too much, eat too much, drink and smoke too much, take too many medications, or have sex that is harmful to others, we probably have a problem. But we don’t like to admit this, and that’s called denial, part of our dark secrets.
Our response is to get so caught up in day-to-day survival that we easily forget about our own personal problems, the only things we can really change. Basically, everything becomes someone else’s fault, right?
Healing and recovery begin when we are honest and open enough to say, “My life is a problem; there are serious problems in this country, too; and I am willing to see what I can do to change things.”
Individually we may not be able to change society or the “system”, but we can change ourselves. If enough of us make these personal changes, from the leaders of corporate America to the ordinary person on the street, then social conditions will change as well.
We can begin this process by working on one personal weakness or character flaw at a time. As weakness is overcome and transformed into strength, we can turn our attention to improving the social conditions around us.
I suggest that you try to start this process of change today by simply choosing one problem to work on that is particularly bothering you.
STEP 2: MAKE A PLAN.
Being honest about our own weaknesses is just the beginning. After facing a problem, we must make a plan to do something about it or nothing will change. There are four basic parts to a good plan: setting goals; anticipate the steps necessary to achieve goals; face barriers to goals; and develop a game plan to get around the barriers.
Goals clearly define what we want and when we want it. Focusing on the steps, help us see the importance of anticipating what we have to do to achieve the goals. The term barriers brings us back to our dark and secret side.
Internal barriers are those internal things that stop us; such as anger, sadness, fear, doubt, false beliefs, rationalizations, justifications, guilt and shame. External barriers refer to lack of resources, opportunities, environmental and situational issues that our dark secret uses to try to convince us to give up.
The term game plan refers to formulating the strategies necessary to overcome the dark secret, whether inside or outside of us. Game plans include dealing with feelings, thinking positive, and using the right recovery tools to facilitate success.
Let’s start this process today by making a plan to do something positive about a problem, and then turn a weakness into a strength by accomplishing an important goal.
STEP 3. ASK FOR HELP.
Now sometimes, despite our best laid plans, our lives can get stuck or the unexpected happens. When life hurts and nothing seems to work, it’s time to seek help. Yes, this can be difficult to do.
I know it can be hard to trust another person, a group, a church, or even God, because most of us have been let down by other people, groups, churches, and even our belief in God.
You may ask, “How can God help me when prayers go unanswered and I still feel defeated, sick, or miserable?” I believe the answer is that we cannot heal until we let go of that dark secret ego that prevents most of us from seeking the help that is always available. Others know this beast as false pride.
We can’t always do it alone. We must reach out when we suffer and draw strength and love from those around us. If we do, the healing begins; if we don’t, the suffering continues.
Stop putting off asking for or seeking help. Reach out today and let the healing process begin. Then use Rhonda Byrnes, The Secret, to increase your recovery by implementing that Law of Attraction process: ask, believe and receive.
STEP 4: CELEBRATE STRENGTHS
The greatest pain of all is feeling that we are not good enough. Before we can celebrate our strengths effectively, we must face that pain. Some of us feel that we are not good enough for love, so we hurt ourselves or hit back at others.
This dark secret can carry over into the workplace, where we settle for low-paying, dead-end jobs instead of chasing our wondrous dreams.
Sometimes we may not feel good enough for this society or culture, due to physical appearance; so we isolate our participation in violence, instead of learning to love ourselves more.
And then there are those who have been abused and neglected by their parents, a spouse, society, or war; when this happens, some of us run from town to town, never looking in the mirror, never finding better ways to deal with hate and despair. We can also relate to being super stressed and worrying excessively or obsessively.
We can worry about not having enough money, not having enough clothes, not having enough free time, little recognition, fleeting love. So some of us work our whole lives, and many of us die alone in clean rooms in hospitals, nursing homes, prisons, jails, or homeless shelters.
Take time today to celebrate who you really are. He finds the positive aspects of yourself and shouts to the world: “I’m always good enough and more!” Look at your strengths, talents, and abilities.
Strengths are the good qualities you like about yourself. Talents are your special abilities to do something better than others. Skills that include your potential to become better at something if you work harder at it.
Proclaim your positive side daily because this is your inner Light. Acknowledge the weaknesses and the dark side, but build your health on what you like about yourself; that’s a recovery attitude built on a rock-solid foundation.
Affirm your uniqueness, when negative thoughts, feelings and experiences begin, known as “smelly thinking”, the wisdom of 12-step programming. Strive to feel the Love within you; feel your light
Then let it grow where you can really start gifting it to others. The more you give, the more you will receive. This is our Love-Light, and forms the cornerstone of all prosperity principles, including the Law of Attraction.
Celebrating ourselves in an open and humble way is probably the true measure of success. We have the right to feel good about ourselves despite our weaknesses, disabilities or limitations.
For me, true success isn’t just about making more money, it’s about being happier, having more good ideas, and showing more love and compassion. Success consists of living in the moment and appreciating the joie de vivre that surrounds us. Of course we also deserve to have wealth and prosperity.
It is finding the comfortable balance between mind, body and soul. Let’s find this balance every day before we slowly harm ourselves with negative self-destructive feelings, thoughts, and behaviors. We can start today by celebrating our strengths, talents and abilities, above all the illusions that our dark secret tries to send us.
STEP 5: BELIEVE IN THE POWER OF THE POSITIVE.
We can no longer survive in a society, culture or world without having a practical and functional value system; let us make it our inner Truth. Every day we make decisions about ourselves that impact the lives of others.
There is a purpose in life, and it has to do with reaching our true potential. I believe that this real purpose is a spiritual transformation. But you decide what makes sense to you.
Let’s believe in the power of Good, and life will get better, it has to. That’s what I call the journey to my Love-Light. What do you call your spiritual connection?