This is probably the million dollar question: How can I make my relationship work?
First of all: What is the definition of relationship? Relationship is a state of connection between people, especially an emotional connection. With everyone you’ve met, you established a relationship, if only for a brief moment. Your neurological system then stores information regarding this person and determines the connection you have or had, based on information stored in your unconsciousness that might appear similar.
Let’s clarify the purpose of the relationship: All relationships are gifts of personal growth. At their core, they are reflecting something in us that needs to be resolved. You can only see something in others that you have in yourself. Given that fact, why is it that ‘It’s YOUR fault!’ is it a common expression?
Unconsciously, our soul recognizes the opportunity to see something reflected in us and the potential to solve that problem. Consciously, however, we react, we have games and habits that are activated as soon as we feel that our personality (the ego) is being threatened. Usually there are a few ways that the personality fights back:
1. Projection: Blaming someone else to deflect personal responsibility.
It’s your fault!
“It’s because they can’t read the instructions correctly.”
2. Attack: Attacking the personality, character or sense of self of the other person, usually with the intention of making someone right and someone wrong (criticism) or to insult someone (contempt) or scare someone Someone to submit
‘How dare you tell me …’
‘You’re so …’
You never listen!
3. Stone walls: Withdrawing energy from the relationship, pretending not to listen, usually with the intention of avoiding conflict. It can be done by changing the subject, moving away, or in silence.
4. Victimize: see yourself as the victim to avoid being attacked.
‘That’s not fair!’
‘I did not know …’
‘It’s always me who …’
It is irrelevant what type of relationship you want to work, whether it is your intimate relationship with your girlfriend, boyfriend, lover and spouse or with your children, boss, co-workers, neighbors or clients; in essence, it is. all about your willingness to be present with your own problems, take charge of them, communicate them and solve them.
The difference you will experience in relating to different people is based on your emotional involvement and therefore your influence on each other. The closer someone is to you, the easier you can press your ‘hot buttons’ and bring up your unresolved issues from the past, and vice versa.
So are you ready to accept the gift of growing up?