The definition of a frame is a set of emotions and desires that you bring to the table every time you communicate with another person. Now, the interesting thing about frame control is that whenever two or more people interact, one person’s frame will override the other person’s frame and this person will usually get away with it.
Example: Think of a courtroom, you have a judge, two lawyers and a group of jurors. The two lawyers have their own desires and emotions, the lawyer whose structure is adopted by the jurors will win the case.
Technical: breaking the frame of power.
This is a technique that you could probably use in a variety of situations, but the best examples are the ones that are relevant to business situations.
If you are in the business world, you have had the experience of dealing with someone who had the power frame because of his huge ego. This is a person who is used to getting his way, he is used to people giving in to his wishes, this is a person who generally does what he wants regardless of the information or how it affects other people. Powerful structure types tend to ignore what other people think. His ego is rooted in his status. They are usually people who have great titles or feel some kind of entitlement.
If you are communicating or negotiating with a power frame many times, they will only hear the first few seconds of what you have to say and then make a snap judgment about what they will do. Inevitably, in business and in life, we have to deal with these kinds of people who come from this kind of ego driven power framework. However, the good news is that they are vulnerable to your bursting power frame because they don’t expect it. They expect your difference and obedience. You will surprise them with this technique:
To burst a power frame, use a slightly shocking but not hostile act. Do or say something that is a bit challenging but still fun.
When you are challenging and fun at the same time, a powerful personality will be pleasantly challenged by you and will instinctively know that they are in the presence of a professional.
Example: Let’s say you’re a salesperson and you’re in the boardroom making a power point presentation. While you are in the middle of your presentation, you notice that one of the main decision makers of the deal gives you an objection to close the deal.
Since you are very dirty, brother, you say: “Hi Chris, that’s a great question. I would really like to finish this presentation because I think that when you have a complete idea of what I propose, it will make sense to you.Then you continue with your presentation.
A few minutes later he notices that Chris is playing on his blackberry and is not paying attention to his presentation. Anyone who has been in sales or negotiating deals for a living is familiar with this type of situation, now say: “Hi Chris, I’d hate to have to use my Jedi powers to get your blackberry off you while I finish my fascinating presentation.“While you’re doing this, make sure you smile at Chris and roll your eyes when you give a riveting introduction.
This line accomplishes a few things:
It’s kind of shocking because you’re calling out Chris for not paying attention.
You’re being funny by saying you have Jedi powers.
By using positive body language and joking that your presentation is fascinating, you are building a relationship between you and Chris.
Chris is now going to be super focused on you for the duration of your presentation.
So when you find yourself in the power frame, be a little challenging or deny them what they want from you and at the same time be fun and friendly and you will gain control of the frame of the situation.