Discussing end-of-life issues is one of the most important conversations families can have together, but for some it’s the hardest. Identifying how one wants to live his last days and leave this world does not have to be saved until the last days of life, nor should it be. How many of us really know when those days will be? Setting the example for our entire family, my parents drafted their personal wills and living wills when they were in their 60s. We all knew his wishes and personal preferences. I had both of mine done in my mid 30’s. These documents are not concrete, should be reviewed periodically and can be changed as desired.
End-of-life discussions aren’t just about organ donation, ventilator support, and feeding issues. They can include personal messages for special people, who you want to be around, where you want to be when your life comes to an end, special hymns or music to sing at the funeral or memorial service, how you want your life to be. Favorite and celebrity organizations to be designated as memorial funds and basic funeral arrangements. It is important that someone knows where and how the information has been recorded. five wishes is a wonderful workbook to guide these discussions and record your preferences. As difficult as end of life is for surviving family and friends, making these decisions ahead of time helps them through this emotional time.
I also knew my dad’s preferences for the end-of-life journey, helping him even though it was emotional and painful. I questioned my decisions and turned to my brothers for reassurance. At the time of his death, deciding on an appropriate memorial strained our close-knit family at a time when we were emotionally drained. We made it through a stronger bond and after the days settled into a new normal routine, I sat down with my mom and recorded her favorite hymns and her choice for a memorial fund. Now her end-of-life plan is really complete. This journey will continue to be emotional and painful, but now with fewer bumps in the road. My dad had taught us a very important lesson in life; planning for death is an important part of life’s journey and a selfless gift to those you love most.