Some depression and anxiety can be alleviated by incorporating a caring self-talk and supporting self-esteem and assertiveness. We tend to do to ourselves and to others what they did to us in childhood. Now, as adults, we must give ourselves all the healthy things that we need from healthy parents. Here are some things you can do to change the basis of depression and anxiety:
Step 1. Write down the negative things you think about yourself, others, and your circumstances. This activity will bring to your awareness the negative thinking and self-talk that is common to many types of depression and anxiety. Negative and self-critical self-talk demoralizes the ego and manifests as a feeling of sadness, sadness, anxiety, fear, and self-doubt. This low mood and anxiety affect sleep, eating and lack of energy. Common examples of negative self-talk are: I am incapable, I cannot do it, I cannot be loved, I am a failure, I failed again, I cannot do it, no one wants to talk to me, no one cares about me, etc.
Step 2. Write statements that are self-nurturing, nurturing, reassuring, supportive, and validating. This exercise helps to identify the opposites of negative self-talk: I can do it, I have many skills, I am loving and kind, I can get what I need and want, I deserve to be happy, I can be successful, etc. .
Step 3. Write down the negative things parents said or communicated to you as a child. Here you can write what you thought parents felt for you because of what they said or did, such as: I wish you were never born, I don’t like you, I don’t care about you, I don’t want to be around you, You are on the road, you are a nuisance, you should be seen but not heard, etc.
Step 4. Write down the things you needed or wanted parents to tell you when you were a child. Here you can write the things you wanted or needed parents to say or do, such as: I love you no matter what happens, I am so glad that you are in my life, you can be successful, it is okay to cry when you are hurt, Everything will be fine, I felt the same as you sometimes, you can do anything, you are good at it, thank you for helping me, you are so kind and caring, etc.
Step 5. Write down what you would do or say if you saw another child being treated the way you were treated in n. 3. If you heard someone say mean things to a child or slap a child, what would you say? Maybe you would say things like: You have no right to say that, Be kind to the child, The child needs your love, You need to support your child and be reassuring and loving and loving and caring, You need to encourage him, etc. .
Step 6. If you had all the positive things as a child that you needed from healthy parents, how do you imagine your life could be different today? If your parents had said encouraging, loving, and supportive things to you when you were a child, how do you imagine your life could be different today? This step helps you formulate and create a vision for how your life can be different in a healthy way. Depression that comes from negative self-talk is a form of self-neglect and self-abuse. Ultimate self-abuse and self-neglect is self-harm and suicidal thinking. Rather, hope, optimism, self-esteem, and self-confidence form the foundation of a stable state of mind and a sense of security, safety, confidence, well-being, inner peace, personal power, and happiness.
Step 7 Now you must be everything to yourself that you needed your parents to be: encouraging, loving, caring, caring, supportive, and reassuring. This means that you must say to yourself and be to yourself all the positive things that you needed from healthy parents. If no one else can give you the care you need, who does that leave? Ultimately, you are the one who should take care of yourself. So this means that you must choose healthy people to be in your life, and you must support yourself and that other caring person. This way you will take care of yourself. Another important piece is to stand up for yourself and support yourself when others treat you badly.
Step 8: you must be assertive and say things like: I don’t like your tone, I deserve more respect than that, I deserve a raise, it annoys me when … etc. Take care of that child who was abused and mistreated. That boy or girl is still inside you and needs your protection. Be for yourself now what you needed then. Will you defend it?