“Live to win, dare to fail; eat the dirt and bite your nail; so wash your face with dirt; it doesn’t feel good until it hurts; so take this world and shake it; come squeeze and suck the day; come carpe diem baby” – Metallica
Some people see change as a bad thing, but others see it as an opportunity. I worked with seniors at my local elementary school last June, providing them with acting training. They were doing their farewell play (written by one of the teachers), about to move on to high school; For most of us, this is the first memory of change that we have. Do you remember that feeling? I know you do, and it was very scary! These 10/11 year olds did an incredible job of helping them understand the changes they were about to make and realize they weren’t all bad. It worked, looking at many changes through history showed that it wasn’t all bad.
There is no doubt that some changes can be bad, even harmful; We only need to look at the election of Adolf Hitler in Germany to see an example of this. On the other hand, this was an isolated incident in one country. However, most of the changes are good: the invention of the wheel, electricity, combustion engines, all of which improved our lives.
Take a change that we can control: If we are happy with our lives, why change anything? The old adage: “If it ain’t broke, then don’t fix it!” says it all. But are any of us TRULY happy with his life all the time? “Oh, if only he could win the lottery”; “I hate my job”; “I want to live in Spain”. There is always something we want to make our lives even better; In short, there is always something we want to change in our lives.
Some people make these changes and seize the opportunity, seizing the day, others want to do it, but it seems like too big a step. What is it that some people have, but others don’t? “Carpe Diem” – that is, the guts to seize the day and the opportunity, or to take the bull by the horns. Then they ride that bull until they fall off or the bull allows it! If they fall off, they find another bull to ride.
Looking at the above statements:
1. Win the lottery: You don’t have to change to win it, but how would your life change if you did! Could you handle that change? It will most likely make you miserable: you would have everything you ever wanted, you could afford anything else you decided you wanted. Is this the key to happiness? Many stories in the press have shown that this type of change spoils everything, even the winner.
2. Change jobs: stressful, but potentially satisfying. This could cause a lifestyle change, but it could also change the amount of time you spend with your family. You have to weigh the pros and cons: this is considered a controlled change, as opposed to winning the lottery. Changing jobs in the same profession is not that difficult or marked, but a complete change of profession would not only be very stressful, but could change your life for the better. Imagine the manager who decides that he has had enough of his work and switches roles with his wife becoming a stay at home husband. That is a massive change. Most men won’t even consider this – the thought of the enormity of the change and the damage to their masculine pride makes them dismiss it out of hand – but many couples have done it successfully. My wife is much younger than me and she doesn’t have a career yet and we are considering this, if she can find a job with a salary similar to mine. I have spent my career convincing others that change is a good thing, resisting resistance. In fact, I think change is a very good thing, as it gives you a different perspective on things.
3. Moving to another country: This is the biggest change. We have all seen the families on “Relocate, Relocate, Relocate” on TV, who decide to sell and move to a different part of the country or the world, some go to Australia. Moving is supposed to be one of the most stressful things we do in life, but we all do it at least once in our life. We’ve all wished we had the guts to do just that: move to a sunnier climate or a more peaceful environment. Why do it? Simply, it is to give his family a better life. That’s why we all move from home at some point, whether it’s for better schools, a better job, or a better lifestyle. It’s just that some people decide to go BIG!
The change can be anything, big or small; to a young child, something we consider small can be huge. I will never forget, when we changed the color of our toilet paper, our 3 year old (just potty trained) was horrified and had so many questions as to why he was a different color. Imagine how a massive change like divorce affects them! For us adults, it is the biggest changes that scare us and therefore we avoid them.
That’s the difference: some avoid change while others embrace it. It is confidence that makes the difference: confidence in your life choices and decision-making abilities, confidence in your ability to seize the opportunity successfully. Sometimes you just have to take a chance because it may work for you and not be there again in the future: timing is everything. All you need is the ability to say yes and ride the wave of life. Riding that wave involves risks, like falling into the sea, and when that happens, it’s time to sink or swim.
So, learn to swim in the sea of life by making small changes using water wings. Give yourself confidence in your life choices and decisions. Once that confidence starts to build, you can make bigger changes, take bigger risks, eventually shed those water wings and swim, tentatively at first. Then you’ll have the confidence that you can ride the wave and if you fall off, you’ll be able to swim and keep going, giving YOU the chance to make big changes, right decisions and sixteen such chances.
As John Bird says in his self-help book “How to Change Your Life in 7 Steps”: “Start small and aim BIG.” Trust that you REALLY CAN do it!