It’s amazing, isn’t it? The difference between your boyfriend before the break up and now since he dumped you. You thought you knew and loved him but now you really question everything you felt about the man. Ever since the relationship ended he has been a world class jerk to you. He has gone from being a kind and compassionate companion to someone you barely recognize. As much as you struggle to accept the end of your connection with him, you still wonder what’s going on. Why do men act like jerks after a break up? It’s a question women have been asking themselves for years. The answer can really stun you.
Just as your emotions are off the charts, your ex-boyfriend’s are too. This may be hard to believe given all the rude and obnoxious things you’ve been saying lately. You have to look past those thoughts to the heart of why he is behaving the way he is. Men are not naturally as adept at dealing with difficult emotions as women. Instead of sitting down and talking about something negative they feel, they prefer to lash out. Their anxiety and feeling of being emotionally vulnerable causes some men to lash out at the person who caused them to feel those difficult emotions. Hence the reason why you have become the verbal target of your ex boyfriend’s anger and disappointment.
If you left him, he may not give up his unattractive behavior for a while. He’s working through his emotions and until he does, he’s still wearing the cap of a big jerk. The only thing you can do to remedy it is to separate from him. By creating some distance, you’ll be showing him that you don’t find his behavior towards you at all acceptable and that you value yourself too highly to allow it to continue.
It is very important that you do not take their insults or rants personally. That’s virtually impossible if you still have some lingering feelings for the man, but it’s essential for your own worth not to put too much weight on what he says. Remember that he is desperately trying to hurt you in the same way that he has been hurt, and he will do whatever it takes to make sure that happens.
It’s the same reason some men hook up with a new woman right after the breakup of their long-term relationship. His reasoning behind this is twofold. A man who suffers after his relationship ends wants to drain those feelings and he can do this by reaching out to someone new. The other reason some guys do this is simply to hurt their ex girlfriend. They tell him that they have met a new woman who is everything his ex-girlfriend isn’t. They do this solely for the purpose of causing you distress. That’s an obvious idiot move and if you see it for what it is, you’ll be able to accept it much more easily.
Remember that their behavior is not a reflection of you or the time you spent together. Try to view her disrespectful antics as a sign that she is in deep emotional pain. If you do that, you can still see the good in him and remember the wonderful times you shared before things went wrong.