In today’s world, we are bombarded with news from misleading and untrustworthy people. They may get away with something (or many things) for a long time, but eventually they get caught. These people may have grown up hearing the phrase “Honesty is the best policy,” but they obviously chose not to take this ethical path.
In a team setting, honesty can still be difficult. When other team members ask you questions, you may be reluctant to be totally honest. There are a myriad of reasons why someone would act this way. A common one is a lack of confidence in themselves to express their opinions, which can make them fearful of how others will react. Others might include “pent up” information or opinions, not so much to be dishonest, but at that point it may be information that is not yet allowed. Lastly, there are some who act in this way to elevate themselves and their needs above others no matter what the outcome is; They only care about themselves and will do whatever it takes, including lying, to get there.
So how does a leader, as well as other team members, determine if someone is being honest? If a person is new, they need to build trust with others, but it takes time. If the person is hesitant to speak up initially, everyone needs to encourage the person to express their opinion. Over time, team members should learn who is more trustworthy than others, but ideally, working in an environment where everyone is honest.
What about the “little white lie”? If it is used so as not to hurt someone’s feelings and does not cause any problems for the group, is that acceptable? Such examples are comments about someone’s attraction or your plans for the weekend. However, what happens when the lie grows and grows to the point that one has to “clear up” why they have been cornered? Accepting responsibility for the lie (s) is the first step, but how willing are others to accept the apology? The additional problem is that rumors and gossip can begin to circulate around the team compounding the lie.
Leaders need to be in tune with what happens every day, even if they are not physically in the office. It is important for them to really take the time to understand the dynamics of each person, the interaction between two or more people within the team (possible cliques), as well as the team in general. It is true that being honest can cause conflict, but it is better to stop a small forest fire, otherwise it can turn into hell and full credibility with the culprits may never be regained.
As you read this, think about the last lie you told. It was worth it? A person in the behavioral health field once told me that people lie because it makes them feel good. I think that’s just one way of looking at this. Let’s be honest here, lying has brought down all kinds of organizations, so it’s worth the time to do a self-test and see how honest you really are and then evaluate others on the team. The goal is to create harmony (another good H word) in your workplace.