It is no secret at this point that I am not in favor of persuading, manipulating and persecuting people into loving us. There is nothing that men find more discouraging than a woman repeatedly calling out for time and attention. Even if he initially liked you, “chasing” him will put him off.
It is better to know and look for some common clues that indicate that he is interested in you. That way you won’t make fun of yourself or completely kill even the little spark that with a little love could have turned into a flame!
Here are just 15 of the common leads that say you’re interested:
1. He voluntarily turns off his cell phone and / or text pager so the two of you are not interrupted.
2. Maintains constant eye contact (those soulful stares) and smiles at you, a lot.
3. You present yourself as more than a friendly person, but as a person who is interested in you as a potential lover.
4. Compliment your appearance, not in a general way like “you look good” but something very specific like “I like your eyes / hair / skin, etc.”.
5. He is playful with you: he teases, tempts, provokes, challenges, anything that implies that he is seducing you and invites you to “play” in the realm of reciprocal uncertainty. I am not talking about sex here, seduction is not always about sex.
6. Find excuses (accidental or otherwise) to touch your arm (helping you up the stairs), lower back (guiding you to the table) shoulder (checking to see if you are warm enough), etc. Any excuse to touch you.
7. He is interested in talking to you, and that includes his body language leaning slightly towards you. He looks lively and genuinely happy to be talking to you and not scanning the room for other “prey.”
8. Asks questions about you, your life, your job, your passions, your childhood (or child / children if you have them), your dreams, your favorite color, etc.
9. Listen carefully and remember what you say. If you are listening, you will find him repeating some of the things he has said to ask more questions. You will also notice that you are using some of your own expressions and phrases; It is called a reflection.
10. Openly share information about your life; answers your questions directly and honestly. This is not the same as “pouring your emotional problems onto your lap.” It should be clear that he is interested in you as a “love interest”, not as a therapist.
11. He refers to something that will happen “next time” or asks you directly at the beginning of the date if you are free on this or that day to do this or that.
12. Not only does he say goodbye and walk away, but he lingers a bit, probably expecting a kiss, but not wanting to spoil things by being too daring.
13. He tries to extend the date by asking if he would like to go somewhere for coffee or asking him to share a drink at night (his place, his place wherever). It just shows that he can’t get enough of you.
14. He calls you the same night or the next day after the date just to say he had a great time.
15. Invites you out on a date again in a few days, anything that looks like it wants to keep you busy so you’re out of the market.
Truth be told, when a man is interested in you, he will make his interest known in more ways than you can count. So are men. Correction. That’s how REAL men are.
If you’re already dating someone, you can also check out my article 10 Warning Signs You’re Not Being Loved Enough. If you are always trying to persuade or chase someone, you will find on my website invaluable information on choosing the “right” people, including separating high-potential dating from energy-depleting ones, the kinds of relationships that won’t last. a lot, how to identify who is capable of giving and receiving relationships, etc. My wish is that we can all choose partners with whom we can have the pleasure of “playing” rather than playing against or for.