Communication is the basis of any relationship, be it a couple, work, children or interpersonal. You may identify with some of the following types of ineffective listening styles. Like any interpersonal flaw, these styles become a habit that we fall into over time. Take a look at this list and see if any of them look familiar to you.
- The Pretender it is the listener who seems to be listening but is really concentrating on something else. As a result, the speaker may have no idea that their message has not been received. You may be watching TV and your partner is saying something to you, but you are too interested in the TV show that you say “yes” and “aha” without paying attention.
- Reflector It is the listener who constantly drives the conversation so that the focus is on him / her rather than the message being sent. It could be ego-bound.
- The cherry picker It is the listener who only responds to the messages that interest him and spits out all the others. Selective listeners.
- The avoider he is the listener who does not respond to topics that are uncomfortable for him. Teenagers and parents can do a lot with this style.
- The defender it is the listener who takes things personally and perceives many messages as attacks. Self-aware person or person who does not accept constructive criticism.
- The undercover attacker it is the listener who listens attentively but for the wrong reasons. He / she has an ulterior motive to collect ammunition to use at another time during a surprise attack. Recovery or revenge.
- The realist it is the listener who perceives the message literally and has difficulty reading between the lines the desired meaning.
In summary
As you can see, it can fit in more than one style, which is normal. Knowing what they are and identifying them when you are in that state of mine will help you in the future.