You’ve hired a lawyer, maybe you’ve gone to mediation, and now you’re going to your first divorce hearing. It may be a temporary custody or alimony hearing or it may be that you have skipped the temporary hearings and are going directly to trial for custody or support. Either way, I’m sure you’re nervous and a little unsure about what’s going to happen. Here are 5 tips on how to stay calm during a court hearing or trial.
- Breathe. I know this might sound silly, but people tend to hold their breath when they’re nervous or scared. The last thing you want to do during your hearing is pass out. Inhale through your nose and gently exhale through your mouth. No one will be able to tell you are doing this and it will help lower your blood pressure and make you feel calm.
- Dress nicely, but wear something that is comfortable for you. If you don’t like three-piece suits, your first court hearing is not the place to try on a new suit. For men, pants and a dress shirt are usually fine. For women, a blouse and pants or a skirt will be fine. Remember that the courtroom can be hot or cold, so wear a jacket or sweater that you can take off during breaks if it gets too hot.
- Don’t worry about the little things. I know it’s hard when you’re listening to your soon-to-be ex-spouse say sarcastic things about you on the witness stand, but keep your composure. Much of what he/she is saying is likely to make no difference to the judge.
- Drink plenty of water. Staying hydrated is especially important when you’re nervous or scared. Often court staff will put water and glasses on the table for you, but if not take a sip from the water fountain during breaks. It also doesn’t hurt to pack a healthy snack like a granola bar that you can eat during a break if you don’t have time for a real lunch. A day in short can be surprisingly exhausting. Fueling your body can make it a little easier.
- Be prepared. Before going to a courtroom hearing, you should talk to your attorney about what will happen and what you need to do to be prepared. Sometimes lawyers who have done this hundreds of times forget the little things that can leave you feeling off guard. Things like which side goes first? (usually the plaintiff) And why does the judge call the lawyers to where he sits? (usually to make an evidentiary decision, but sometimes just to ask about an unrelated matter) Make a list of questions and bring it to talk to your divorce attorney several days before your hearing. Knowing the procedural parts of the hearing will make you feel more comfortable when you are in the courtroom.
Following these 5 tips will not guarantee success in the courtroom, but it will make your first court hearing a little easier for you.