Why do parents have such a hard time communicating openly and honestly with their teens? Why can’t teens just talk about what they need with their parents? Why is there such a communication gap between parents and teens?
There are many reasons why teens and parents can’t communicate effectively. Most of the reasons stem from not being able to properly understand their teenagers. This can cause a lot of problems in the future when the teen needs to talk to one of her parents and can’t.
This points to a typical, yet dangerous, gap between the experiences and attitudes of parents and their teens. It’s a dangerous gap because parents will have to communicate with their teens at some point during the most important and informative years of their lives.
Therefore, parents need to figure out how to communicate openly and honestly with their teens about a wide variety of topics, some of which can be personal and make them feel vulnerable.
Here are some tips to facilitate communication between parents and teenagers.
1. Try not to badmouth your teens. Make them feel that their views and opinions really count and that they matter. Not only will this make your conversations with your teen easier, but it will also bring you closer to him.
2. Imagine what it would be like to be a teenager. Try to recall some of the negative feelings and uncertainties he experienced as a teenager and apply them to your teen’s situation.
3. Be empathic with your teen’s situation at all times. Never patronize or make negative comments to your teen about what they have said or done.
4. Remember how much courage it would have taken for your teen to come and talk to you about something that is very personal to him. Reward your teen by listening with emphasis and respect.
5. Don’t ignore your teen’s feelings and emotions because it’s usually a cry for help. For example, if your teen is unusually angry or emotional, it may be time to spend some quality time with your teen to figure out what’s wrong and where it’s coming from.
Therefore, it is essential that parents strive to keep the lines of communication open with their teens at all times. Try to remember what it was like to be a teenager and how vulnerable you felt. Try to remember how insecure you felt at all times. And try to remember how bad you felt when your own parents didn’t understand you. Then you’ll be well on your way to helping your teen communicate more openly and honestly.