There are certain times of the year when being alone, perhaps without your kids, can feel especially raw. Mother’s Day, long holiday weekends, Valentine’s Day, holidays, and key social events can be a real struggle if we are alone, separated from our children. It matters little that we usually spend a lot of time with them.
Tips for being alone on Mother’s Day;
– Remember it’s only one day. If you miss a Christmas or Mother’s Day, it can be very easy to get carried away by emotion and get caught up in a cycle of sadness and gloom. Try to detach yourself from the feelings and make sure that the next time you see them you have a good time together. Focus on making your moments together special.
– Yes, of course, recognize that some of your alone time can be a great opportunity to do chores and catch up on jobs, but also Decide to spend some time enjoying some treats. Take a peaceful bath, light those beautiful scented candles you’ve been saving for a special occasion, read a book, watch a movie, listen to good music, prepare your favorite food. Enjoy having the place to yourself. Relax, de-stress, and treat yourself well on Mother’s Day.
– Avoid making your children feel guilty or giving them details of their distress. Children are not stupid, they are good at feeling how you feel, and they will usually be much more aware of what is happening than you think. Yes, they will allow Dad to bribe them with vacations and expensive gifts, why wouldn’t they! But they will also appreciate your daily efforts to feed and care for them, the things you suspect go unnoticed.
– Maintain a stake in other areas of life. Maintain your identity and establish some interests outside the home. Stay up-to-date with the news, popular television, what’s happening in your area, so that you are confident enough to engage in conversations, create new social connections, and attract new friends.
– Would you be interested in accepting an offer from friends or colleagues to meet someone? they know? Could it be time to meet someone new and do something different? Mixing up and talking to new people, particularly potential dates, is a great way to improve your confidence and self-esteem, motivate yourself to dress up, take care of yourself, and remind yourself that you are more than ‘just’ a mom. Also, chatting with new people is an important skill that is quickly lost if we don’t have practice and haven’t socialized independently for a while.
– Are you ready to consider diving into the official dating scene? again? Online dating sites are an increasingly popular way to meet new people and offer great practical advice. For example, be careful about the amount of personal information you share, limit a first meeting to one hour and in a public place, and trust your instincts if you start to feel uncomfortable.
– Manage your expectations and don’t invest everything in a new friendship / relationship right from the start. Enjoy meeting someone new, practicing your conversation skills, maybe flirting a bit, and making a new friend, even if that doesn’t result in you becoming a lover.
– Make invitations. Take charge of the parts of your life that you have some control over, like your social life. Be proactive and join the mailing lists. Get free exhibits, two for the price of one, and special offers on meals. Become the go-to guy for fun and also accept when others reciprocate and invite you. Stay in touch with what is happening around you.
– Offer reasonable options. Your friends and inner circle may want to socialize, but they may need to be careful about their spending. You might suggest an evening of pampering at each other’s houses or dinners where everyone contributes a plate and / or a bottle. Or get your board games back and have competition nights; I know of several people who started game nights during the winter months and enjoyed them so much that they became a regular part of their calendar.
– Also, spend time on some of the things that interest you, if you can. Volunteer, join a class, hiking group, or activity that you enjoy. Maybe you alternate babysitting with other moms and spend some free time mingling and meeting people with similar interests to yours. Enjoy sharing conversations, making friends and, who knows, maybe meeting someone new too.
Remember that every situation has pros and cons. Being single is not the end of the world! Alone doesn’t have to mean being alone. In fact, many people in unhappy relationships will envy you your freedom and the fact that you are now starting over. Have a great mother’s day!