VISION OF THE RELATIONSHIP
Aligning values in relationships is a good thing to do intentionally. Think about how most people go through relationships. Does one person give up important values for the other? Is there conflict in the relationship? These things usually happen when values and beliefs are not discussed and they do not align with each other. Most conflicts in any relationship stem from different values or beliefs. After all, if we all agreed on what is most important, there would be no need to argue. A relationship mission statement can help!
WE ALL COME FROM DIFFERENT BACKGROUNDS
Think about how you grew up, your environment, money, food, school and so many other things. Did your partner grow up the same? Did your parents teach you different lessons about TV, food, religion, or friends than your partner? We all bring expectations to our relationships, but chances are they won’t be the same for each of us. So why do we think things are supposed to magically work without talking about it, setting goals, or aligning values? Eventually, if the bumps can’t be smoothed out, couples tend to look for someone like me. This is not a bad thing, seeing a professional can be incredibly helpful and restore peace and longevity to your relationship.
REGISTER WITH YOUR PARTNER
For now, let me give you a simple way to communicate, communicate, and look into the future. creating a Vision Ratio It is a simple and useful tool. It doesn’t take long and can really point to lasting happiness in your relationship.
Some Steps to Creating a Relationship Vision Sit alone for about 30 minutes. Remember it doesn’t have to be done in one day.
SIMPLE STEPS TO FOLLOW
1. Go for the positive
When you brainstorm, phrase things in a positive way. For example, instead of saying “we don’t argue,” say “we’ll work things out calmly and peacefully” or “we trust each other” instead of “we won’t be jealous.”
2. Write down your non-negotiables and wishes
Write down your “must haves,” like “we’ll parent together” or “exercise is important” or “we’ll communicate openly and respect each other’s perspective.” You could also write things like “leaving our union is non-negotiable”, “monogamy is of the utmost importance”, “going to church is a priority”, “traveling and experiencing the world with my partner is a high priority”. Make sure it’s not a laundry list for her partner, ie he mows her lawn and she does the laundry.
3. Explore various areas of a relationship
Since we have a multifaceted life, it is important to address as many as you feel are necessary. Expressing needs, wants, and values with sex, finances, lifestyle, parenting, professional in-laws, leisure time, and education are just a few of the things you may want to consider in your vision for your relationship. Answer questions on these topics, such as what do I enjoy in my spare time? How important are finances? Do I want to work full time? Do I need a 401k? What about the insurance? Does my job need to provide this? What percentage or amount of time do we spend with the in-laws? How do we allow them to interact with children? Is the sex satisfying? Do we want to explore new sexual ideals? Do the answers align with my values?
4. Come together
Get together as a couple and discuss the things you agree on first. Then discuss what is negotiable and create short sentences that express what is important to both of you. Leave the things you disagree on for last. See if you can commit to these topics; otherwise, this is where someone like me comes in. Having a partner for professional help to get you through difficult things is helpful and will benefit your relationship for a lifetime.
5. Think about your statement.
It doesn’t have to be long, complicated or directive. As a matter of practicality, it’s best to keep it succinct, covering the general topic of your intentions for your relationship.
examples
We are co-creators of our lives, we share the desire to love and be loved unconditionally, consciously determining our behaviors and the results we want for ourselves and our family. We value respect, trust, non-judgment, and self-control. We bring the best of ourselves into this union, casting out self-centered and destructive motivations so that we can achieve the most positive and loving lifestyle of which we are capable.
We agree to always love and appreciate each other and recognize how lucky we are; each of us consider ourselves the ‘lucky one’. Together we build a healthy lifestyle, where we support each other to exercise, eat well, have fun, rest and relax. We make all the important decisions together, as a team. We don’t keep secrets from each other. We trust each other and feel safe in caring for each other.
We are together to build a loving family and teach our children about healthy relationships. We create a sense of stability by having some routine, but we also make time for fun and spontaneity. We don’t intentionally hurt ourselves, but we recognize that we still do, for which we quickly and easily apologize. we take care of each one.
6. Schedule a time
Weekly, monthly, quarterly, or whatever works for you, but be sure to meet to assess if you’re on track. This is the best way to ensure that both of you meet your needs and can address you if you’ve strayed off track. This will also provide room for growth. Since nothing in life stays the same, people, situations, events or relationships, this provides space to renegotiate, change your view of the relationship as both of you change.