You are in the bookstore and this cute girl is next to you, flipping through magazines. After a few moments, she strikes up a conversation and you’re not sure if she’s flirting or just being friendly. How can you know if she is interested?

#1) Does he make eye contact with you? It’s an added bonus if he looks you in the eye and smiles!

#2) Has he touched your arm or brushed against you? If she is trying to get into your space, this could be a possible sign. If you return her gesture and she leans into you, there’s a good chance she’s thinking what you’re thinking.

#3) Does she have any tattoos that could give her away? Many lesbians will have some kind of “pride” tattoo or other symbol that can give them away. Look closely, it can be very subtle or it could be a huge rainbow, but you won’t know unless you look closely.

#4) Do you have any jewelry that can give it away? A rainbow ring, necklace, labrys is an older symbol of empowerment for women and could be a clue to their sexuality. A thumb ring is known to be an indicator of bisexuality, and sometimes lesbians in a committed relationship wear a ring on the middle finger of their left hand. It’s not the traditional wedding ring finger, but the longest finger on your hand is the one to look for.

#5) Does he play with his hair when he talks and smiles at you? This is often the way a very womanly woman will flirt. Look for subtle changes in her face, her expressions, and her eyes. The movement of her hair, along with all of the above, is almost a sure bet that you are being flirted with.

#6) Casually mention your “last girlfriend” and wait for her response. If there is no startled look, no obvious change in her demeanor, and she still seems to be flirting with you, then chances are she is.

#7) Mention the name of a local gay club or bar and ask if they’ve ever been there. If she’s familiar and says she’s been there, then you’re as good as gold, my friend. Ask her!

#8) If you’re the bold type and you’re somewhere near a coffee shop or drink stall, ask him if he’d like a drink and offer to take him away. If she readily accepts your invitation, sits down and talks with you, chances are she is just as interested in you as you are in her!

#9) During your conversation, place your hand on the small of your back, very casually, and point it toward a door, a chair, anywhere. If she moves easily with you, it is her subconscious that allows you to take control of the situation and signals her desire for you to do so. At that point, you should be sure to ask her for her number so you can “call her sometime.”

#10) Just come over and ask if all else fails. She seems interested and you just aren’t sure. The only way to find out is to simply come and ask. You might say something sweet like, “I really don’t mean to offend you, so please take that as a compliment, but I’d love to meet a girl like you and get to know her. If you get the chance, could you give me your phone number.” and have lunch sometime?” You’re giving her a compliment and giving her an outing, all at the same time. She’ll tell you if she’s interested by accepting or declining. She might even come out and say “I thought you’d NEVER ask me!”.

Good luck with your date. It is not easy to meet quality people, especially in public. More and more people are turning to online dating, but it’s certainly more fun to get that initial spark from across the room and find an excuse to reach out and strike up a conversation. Maybe they’ll exchange glances and both play hard to get it? The relationship dance is fun, if you allow yourself to enjoy it. Don’t let your anxiety stop you from having a little fun. Flirting is good for the soul…even if the girl happens to be straight.

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