Healing tends to happen in its own time. Regardless of what it involves, be it verbal, such as an apology, a placating gesture of a bouquet of flowers, or a medicinal treatment, perhaps a cream or ointment, or a more serious intervention, healing can take a little time. And sometimes even the smallest trigger, like a comment, gesture, or physical movement, can set the entire healing process back for weeks, if not months.
When we reflect that there are more than 360 physical manifestations of stress, that fact helps us appreciate how important the mind/body connection is and how healing is about supporting all aspects of ourselves. Being more insightful can help us recognize that if, for example, our headaches inexplicably re-start, our sleep patterns become erratic, our mood or concentration suffer, these symptoms may be indicators that our mental well-being, emotional and physical needs attention.
– Healing can occur when we learn to say ‘enough’ or ‘no’ when we feel tired or overwhelmed. By being clear about what is right for us, protecting ourselves from over-commitment, we can better understand ourselves and be alert to any warning signs of stress and burnout.
– Doing the things we do well can be a great way to heal, especially if we’ve been through a difficult or stressful time and experienced a significant hit to our confidence. Doing things where we feel competent and capable, where our abilities may be recognized and appreciated by others, can provide an important boost and heal any negativity and self-doubt.
– We may need to heal if an important relationship is going through a difficult and conflictive time. Being willing to mend an ongoing rift may mean that one party is trying to extend a hand of friendship. But, if such a gesture is not seen as real and sincere, it can exacerbate the situation and delay any attempt at reconciliation for weeks, if not months.
– Making or receiving an apology can sometimes facilitate the healing process, but it has to feel genuine and sincere. To make a good apology there has to be clarity about what the person is sorry for. For example, they may feel strongly that some things should be said or done, but regret how things turned out. Being specific makes the interaction more honest.
– But beware of falling into a cycle of apologies, where bad behavior, quickly followed by acts of penance or contrition, becomes a regular pattern. There is no healing, learning or progression in being in a situation like that.
– Talking things out can be a good way to understand each other’s position and start the healing process. But you both need to be in the same place to start earning mutual respect. If one person is angry, upset, and needs a few hours to calm down so they can think clearly, but the other wants to talk about everything right away, it may mean that there is already an obstacle that needs attention before things can start to improve.
– There may be times when other people strongly suggest that we should take action to heal! If we are regularly tired, irritable, physically or emotionally unavailable, they may support us and tolerate this for a while until there comes a point where they say, ‘stop it, this can’t go on!’ That reaction can be a significant enough reason for us to reflect on ways to make positive changes in our lives.
– Time in nature is often a positive way to support any healing. It is a good way to relax alone or with friends and family. Taking some personal, quiet time can help you detach from stressful situations and perhaps gain new insights and perspectives. But equally, spending time in nature with friends and family can be a good investment in relationships, allowing time to talk, play, maybe exercise together, and strengthen bonds.
– Nature also offers a good perspective on life. The changing seasons, the occasional harshness of the weather, witnessing how harsh or cruel life in the wild can be. Then seeing how well nature heals; a tree devastated by a storm, birds losing their young to predators. But each day a new sun rises, a new season gradually emerges, and the cycle repeats itself again.
– When you don’t feel good, you don’t feel good, all you need is a day or two of rest to recover and feel good again. Knowing that you’re giving yourself permission to stay in bed, relax on the couch, maybe do nothing, or pamper yourself a little can be a great way to temporarily enjoy some downtime and unwind.
Taking care of yourself, just as you would a cherished friend or family member, can be a great way to instill a positive routine of self-care, self-support, and healing. But if the feelings become more serious or persist, be sure to see your family doctor or talk to a counselor or hypnotherapist to see if they can help treat the underlying causes.